Shirley Valentine

Devoted British housewife Shirley Bradshaw spends hours talking to her kitchen wall and wondering what ever happened to the awesome girl she used to be. "Didn't you used to be Shirley Valentine?" an old classmate says to her on the street. Where did that girl go? Shirley will conclude that she's let her life be wasted and sucked away. Shirley Valentine "got lost in all this unused life."

Sounds a bit heavy, but this is one of the most delightful movies I've ever seen. A must see for sassy women everywhere.

There are two things that make this film such a delight. The first is the brilliant writing by Willy Russell. How a man captured so perfectly the struggles of a woman, I cannot imagine. But he did. And with a delightful wit and humor that make you think Shirley is just coming up with this stuff off the top of her head. Russell was nominated for a Tony for the original play--and rightly so.

The second is Pauline Collins (Shirley) who carries the movie from beginning to end with charm, intensity, vulnerability and sparkle. She received an Oscar nomination for this role, which was a recreation of her Tony Award winning performance on Broadway. The only big difference in the Broadway version was that it was a one woman show. Collins sat on the stage with minimal scenery and shared Shirley's story. It was amazing. I saw it from the third row. At one point, Collins/Shirley looked right at me and winked. I don't remember what lines went with that wink. I was pretty sure she did that to some girl every night, but I was sold anyhow.

The big difference for me, watching "Shirley Valentine" again this week, was that I am no longer the girl I was in 1989. Stories move us differently based on where we are in life at that time. When middle-aged housewife Shirley winked at an unencumbered 21 year-old me sitting in that Broadway theater, I thought it was all lovely, but I didn't really get it. Sitting on the sofa in my living room over 20 years later, her life-crisis hits a bit closer to home (and makes me laugh even harder).

Before we start down that unalterable path, I'm not sure anyone really understands what it means to become "wife" and to become "mother". What a woman gives up...and what she gains. I think we mostly stumble into it out of instinct or expectation. Can we go back to being the girl we were before it started? Can we keep from losing our girl-ness in the first place?

Watching this film again, it made me think back to a few weeks ago when I was working on digitally scanning our early family photos (from before a digital camera existed). This is the kind of inane thing good wives/mothers do. Beginning with photos early in my marriage, I worked my way through having babies and watching them grow. But I noticed something about those photos along the way. Besides getting a good laugh about hairstyles and watching my waistline grow, I had to ask myself: "Who killed my sparkle?"

Maybe putting a "who" on that question is not fair. Maybe it should be more a "what" killed it. Was it just life?

While I never had a soul-killing mean-spirited teacher like Shirley does, I have had some bosses who were doozies. More than one has said to my face: "Nobody here likes you, you know." Yeah. Thanks for sharing. Watch that sparkle dim a bit more.

Raising children, working, and being a "good wife" have their delightful moments, but probably do more to dim that sparkle than they do to light it. The battle goes on daily.

But what this film addresses, and what we all, male and female, need to consider in life is how to get that sparkle back. What has happened before is never the point. Where we go from here is everything.

Shirley takes a Greek holiday with a flaky girlfriend to try to figure things out for herself. In the same way that "Under the Tuscan Sun" made me dream of a villa somewhere in those green hills, Shirley's trip to the beautiful blue oceans of Greece made me want to book a ticket tomorrow. But we don't really have to go anywhere. Self-discovery is not one of those moments where it's all about location, location, location. Here. Now. That will do. What needs to change is our attitude and thoughts about ourselves and our lives.

Refuse to let anything put your light out. SHINE! Whether a woman goes down the family path or whether she runs the world in a corporate life, there will always be someone or something that wants to throw a big wet blanket over her joy and sparkle. We can lie down and play dead under that blanket, or we can toss it off. The choice is always ours.

And as I pondered where I personally go from here, a poem by Shel Silverstein came to mind:
Listen to the MUSTNTS child,
Listen to the DONTS
Listen to the SHOULDNTS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WONTS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES,
Then listen close to me--
Anything can happen child,
ANYTHING can be.

Well alright then! Throw off those wet blankets of MUSTNTS and IMPOSSIBLES and the deadly NEVER HAVES and let's get on with it! What can I sparkle about today?

I ran across some current video footage of Pauline Collins in "Merlin" today. She'd be at least 70 by now, but I could still see that middle-aged woman in there somewhere. There's still a twinkle and a flash in her eye hinting at a force to be reckoned with yet. I bet she learned some of that from playing Shirley all that time. I hope I can learn from her example.

To find your own inspiration, grab a cup of hot chocolate (rudely ignoring any whisper about "that'll go straight to your thighs") and curl up with "Shirley Valentine". It will give you some wonderful chocolate for your soul.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098319/
Properly rated R--adult content throughout.